I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
