did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
