i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So many bounce houses so little time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A bitchslap is in order.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
