One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
