Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize