Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
