i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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