I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
