I think scott just propositioned me for sex
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
