i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
