I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
