The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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