Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
