kristin has been a bad kristin
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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