Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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