i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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