Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
