In America we eat man semen.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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