she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
