I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
