the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
