If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Alive.
So much puke
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
