dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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