Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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