today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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