the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
