I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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