Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Enjoy the penises
Randomize