Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
did i just pee glitter
The adults are the big ones right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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