Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
