someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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