So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
