So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize