You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
