I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
