I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world