The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When are your genitals available?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.