Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
