Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....