so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
