Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
