I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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