She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
