my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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