Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
