He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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