Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was born a porn star she said
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
