I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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