I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize