I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
