so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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