dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize