Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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