idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
