I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
