Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
