and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
