Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
