i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you win again, gameday.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
