In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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