yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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