The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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