she woke up with a sticky ear
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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