just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize