If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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