some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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