i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
