you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
