My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
