Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
